Developing resilience to criticism
I’ve always been sensitive to criticism, whether constructive one or not.
Criticism is hard because it tends to expose your flaws. It reveals what you don’t believe exists in yourself.
When being critiqued I feel like a wall is raising between me and the person in front of me. I feel my face muscles are shrinking. I’m trying not to expose myself, and stay calm in its presence. Trying to not take those words personally, but it’s often that easy, and find what can be constructive for me here.
Constructive criticism can be a thing that builds you. Builds your personality and work on your weaknesses.
- What critic do I accept?
- How do I analyse the critic in a way that can be constructive?
- What makes a critic good or bad?
- Can you encapsulate the main idea being delivered?
- How I turn the difficult of hearing it, to a motivation for actions?
- How do I take step back and see the full picture?
- Does the person in front of you wants in your good?
- Have you hear this before in different words?
For example, I got a comment about me reacting defensively when others tackles my ideas. It makes some people in the room feel like they walk on eggs when sharing their thoughts with me. And of course, I want the people around me to feel free to share what’s on their mind.
I got the same sentence from my mother too. When entering some subject i’m becoming inpatient, and act angry. In some scenarios I become silent in a weird way that easily can be spotted that something is wrong.
Instead of that, I want to be open for constructive criticism. I want to develop resilience and don’t take it personally, I want to use it as constructive tool to build myself and reveal what to work on, because criticism is a growth opportunity.
You barely get situations where people is brave enough to tell you what need to hear, the truth.
So once my manager or mother found the courage to tell me those things, about my reaction or behaviour, although it’s hard to admit or even listen, you have to take a deep breath, listen to it, observe, try to understand the main point, and then act to become better, to make adjustments and grow from it.
