Revealing the harsh truth of thinking you know
In the last couple of days I came to see a harsh truth about myself. A truth I kept locked for years because it served me well in achieving my goals.
I tend to have the inner default of already knowing. In many conversations, whether in personal life or professional life, whenever someone explain to me something I will say very quickly “I know”. I lose patience. I lose the ability to listen till the end with intention.
How ‘I know’ made me blind for growth opportunities
This attitude of already knowing is a pitfall. Here are the things I realized turns it to be harmful for me nowadays:
- In the very foundation of it, I don’t let myself to fully understand what is being shared with me. Instead of thinking for myself, is there something new I can learn from that? I jump straight to assuming I know and immediately block my brain for the possibility of new information, or even the ability to ask a intentional question that lead to better information.
- Don’t say you know, prove it by doing. Prove it mainly for yourself. If missing information is needed, ask questions. Hold your curiosity, and listen just a little bit more.
- ‘I know’ diminish the ability to discover possibilities, unique opportunities to come up with ideas and do things differently. Delay this mental posture of knowing to be able to discover those oppurtunities
- I also found that coming to a conversation with ‘I know’ mindset is actually not respecting the other person efforts to tell you something that might help you. It also doesn’t give the room for the sequence he decided to share.
- My wife suggested that better than saying “I know”, it’s a thoughtful, deeper questions, and I like it. When you come up with question to connect between things that none thought of, it gives your knowing a personality of exploration.
Seeing that truth feels like a slap
This truth being hard to admit. I had to sit and ask myself questions that aren’t easy. I had to try to walk in different shoes. Try observe my behaviours from outside, and reflect that ruthlessly.
Even though it’s harsh, it worth it. It’s a moment to improve and develop. It’s challenging. And it’s requires you to put the work and be self-aware. It’s battle an habit that engrained in the way I manage conversations. It’s admitting your ignorance.
The point? When you put your phone away, the computer and TV away, to sit and reflect your behaviours you discover the challenges that holding you back from improving.
Everyone around us is a mirror
I’m always wished for a personal mentor in my life. However, when you open your mind, everyone around you is a mentor, if you let them be. When you’re open and true, they have the ability to mirror you things to reflect. My father, my new boss, my wife, my colleagues, everyone has the potential to give a rope to understand what to work on.
